photo courtesy of Rustic White Photgraphy

photo courtesy of Rustic White Photography

So, I am not giving away a fully furnished house. I am considering giving away some or all of my children, so please email directly if you are interested. I have several genders and ages from which to choose. It’s called options, folks, and you are welcome.

HGTV is giving away a fully furnished home. Again. You can see all of the pictures here.

Or here: (By the way, this is completely staged. Nobody eats lettuce in the south. Lettuce is a garnish. I know. I grew up there. I didn’t eat lettuce until 1997.)

photo courtesy of Rustic White Photography

photo courtesy of Rustic White Photography

HGTV does this every year and every single year I am pretty much certain I am going to win. One year I actually picked out clothes for my (then) toddler boys. Khaki shorts with darling checkered shirts. Not matching checkered shirts…complementary checkered shirts. Obviously. Matching would have made me seem like a mentally unstable freak who is so sure she’s going to win something she buys matching shirts. Cuckoo.

photo courtesy of Rustic White Photography

photo courtesy of Rustic White Photography

Needless to say, someone else won the dream home that year. And every year since. But I am not complaining because that is bad luck and I need all the luck I can get. To up my chances, I am sending you the link here so you, too, can sign up. And as much as I would tottttallllly take a kick-back from HGTV for promoting this free house, they aren’t giving me diddly. Because they don’t even know me. Because I didn’t win the house. Ever. Not once.

photo courtesy of Rustic White Photography

photo courtesy of Rustic White Photography

Enjoy. And if you win, you can thank me later with an open invitation that includes boat rides and cupcakes and a spray tan – not necessarily in that order.

See you next time at The Neighbor’s House. Or at the HGTV Dream Home. Maybe.

photo courtesy of Rustic White Photography

photo courtesy of Rustic White Photography

photo courtesy of Rustic White Photography

photo courtesy of Rustic White Photography