700_linen-sheets-look-good-mussed

At my wedding shower, Andy’s Aunt Sharon told me that she ironed everything, including all of the sheets and her husband’s ‘shorts’ which was her polite way of saying underwear. I laughed out loud. Not because of the word ‘shorts’ but because I thought she was KIDDING. First, who has time to iron anything? Second, why in the world would I be ironing Andy’s underwear? Like, ever?

So here we are 14 years later and I have yet to iron one item belonging to my husband.

But now I have figured out a way to avoid ironing anything but make it look like I did.

This, my friends, is called using the gifts that God gave me.

Let me just say, my mother is going to pass out when she reads this, but in the name of science, I have to share.  I happened upon what can only be called a miracle and you can just thank me later.

You can quit ironing.

Yes. I mean it.

Feel free to use that ironing board as a Pina Colada bar or a interpretive art piece or a surgery table for very, very small people.

Want to get the wrinkles out of those store bought curtains? The ones that were clearly folded by the Oragami Master of the World? Throw them in the dryer with five ice cubes and maybe a dryer sheet for good luck, slam the door, turn that modern marvel onto the hottest setting and get back to your Ironing Board Pina Coladas.

This works for shirts, shorts,’shorts’, curtains, sheets, and anything in between. It’s best to use just a few ice cubes; in this case, unlike diamonds or Pina Coladas, more is not better. And it’s best to just put a few clothes or items in at a time. And it’s best not to advertise this to your mother who was probably taught that ironing is what makes you a true woman, as she will wonder where she went wrong. And then she will want one of your Ironing Board Pina Coladas. And you know how Ironing Board Pina Coladas go straight to her head.