Forgive my absence these past weeks; I suffered a major fall and managed to knock myself out, bust open my head, scare my children, scare the neighbor’s children, cause lots of drama during a kicked-back dinner party down the street, and ruin a super-cute summer dress.
How, you ask? I fell off a scooter. No, not a motorized scooter like this:
A scooter like this:
As if that’s not enough, I still have a serious concussion that prevents me from reading, writing, watching bad reality television, and drinking anything resembling a cocktail. I realize that I made the decision to ride on The Killer, so I am slightly to blame.
And as if THAT’S not enough, I am guessing the bill for this little tragedy will hover around $2,000. Apparently cat scans and head-staples are pricy.
So, I’ve been spending a lot of time being quiet. Which really means not doing anything remotely interesting because I am supposed to rest my brain. And while I know the grass is always greener, I think a broken leg may have been better because at least I could read and not have to wear sunglasses inside during the day and could enjoy a cold glass of sauvignon blanc while rolling my eyes at the housewives of New Jersey. Did I mention that eye-rolling is also forbidden? I am barely surviving.
During my “being quiet” time, I’ve been nauseated at the thought of the impending ER bill. I started wondering what I could do with an extra $2,000? And then I decided to take the chance on permanent brain damage and research what, exactly, I would could buy with $2,000.
And then I felt worse.
Because look at all the fabulous stuff I found: